G’day Moomins.

Just quickly, whilst we are using the local lingo, it’s taken me a while, but I have finally realised that when someone says, “How ya going?”, it’s not an actual question.

I’m still unsure of the correct response, but I’ve quickly realised that nobody wants to know the answer nor be asked it back.

Okay, where were we? That’s right, restitched up and ready to go.

Coffin Bay → Elliston

Feeling a bit meh after having had my stitch redone,it’s time to leave, but hold up what’s that blocking my exit…

That’s right, a couple of fugging emus out for a morning stroll. The irony isn’t lost on me, even the emus are in pairs.

As for the rest of my journey to Elliston, it was more of a series of fails.

Turns out when I ordered Jean Claude nine years ago, I did not factor in needing a 4WD.

I’m also acutely aware that JC  still has to make it to the end of this trip, and that my back can only take so much front faced bouncing. Some roads are just better left untravelled.

What follows is a series of pictures of places I nearly got to.

In fairness, I did make it to Locks Well, but with my stitch aching and my chin black and blue, I couldn’t be bothered to descend what looked like 3000 steps for an on-the-beach shot.

I just Googled it: 283 steps. As I said, 3000!

Elliston Waterloo Bay  Tourist Park?

I spent just two nights here, but trust me when I say that first night felt like a lifetime.

I arrived and met the wonderful manager, Peter, who made me feel very welcome and set me up with a great pitch.

Unfortunately, not much later, he gave the pitch two down from me to someone who, shall we say, was not the full shilling, a sandwich short of a picnic, had a screw loose, or as I like to say, was a spanner short from his toolbox.

Peter came to me and said, “Do not tell this guy you’re ex military, he’s one of those ‘tinfoil hat brigade’.”

I have no words to describe what followed, but it involved an anchor, an arrow, and some traffic cones. This was the first time I have felt genuinely uncomfortable in a campsite.

As the evening progressed, I realised he was just bat shizz crazy and settled down for the night, confident my trusty sidekick would have my back.

Or not, as he snored his face off the whole evening.

Until morning.

I awoke to him calling to the sky for his master to send instructions, whilst raising his arms like he was an antenna. I truly thought it was a modern take on Mork & Mindy.

I listened to him play a penny whistle, randomly strum a guitar, and generally talk and sing to himself.

You guys have no idea the pain it cost me to sit there and not laugh out loud. At one stage, I had a tea towel in my mouth and I was crying with laughter.

At one point, he appeared in nothing but a shirt tied around his waist, a WWII helmet on, and a spear, which he then danced around in while hitting himself on the head with said spear.

Finally, I watched as Peter informed him he couldn’t stay another night and that he had to leave.

Peter later informed me that that was the first time he had locked the gate to his accommodation. I was like, “What the fugg? And you left me here to fend for myself!”

Joe, my neighbour on the other side, later informed me the guy was later seen in town with a sword. The mind boggles!

Elliston

And it was here, on this one day of exploring, that I found a place that felt like it could be home.

Allow me to show you why.

Waterloo Bay

The Jetty

Elliston Town

Lookout

Mini Ocean Drive

If you haven’t already, take a closer look. Firstly, a shark warning station, but much more interesting is the man climbing down the cliff edge, forward-facing, carrying his prized possession, a surfboard!

Great Ocean Drive

By this point, my heart was overflowing, I had run out of storage on my phone, and my brain was overloaded.

Needless to say, by the time I was ready to leave, in no way whatsoever was I ready to leave.

Somebody That I Used To Know (Gotye, 2011)

I said to somebody the other day, “I feel like I’m failing at life.” They reminded me that I am travelling around in my van and that it seems pretty good to them.

Of course, I educated them in the error of their ways, but they aren’t entirely wrong.

I get so caught up in the details that sometimes I forget to appreciate how far I have come, not only in kilometers but life as well.

Elliston was another wonderful example of a place finding me when I needed it the most.

Bush Ticker Bingo

Talking of failing.

Guys, I’m going to try the Vegemite soon, I promise.

Other than that, I have been living on bacon and egg rolls. When the budget resets for May, I will try to get some things nipped!

Thanks to everyone for reading and to the people who comment but don’t tell me who you are: Monsters the lot of you!

XOXO